Thankful Thinkin'

Published on 11/19/2001 Daily Egyptian (SIUC)

I'm real close to turning my old truck into an SEP. That would be "somebody else's problem." The city will be happy to know that it's back together and off jacks. The far end of my driveway is now safe for squirrels and trespassers. All that's left is to find a slightly more reliable battery. I guess months of sitting idle have taken its toll.

I'd like to drop a battery in it, put a few bucks in the gas tank and park it back where it was before this all started. I'd just go out and start it up every few days to keep it running and wait for the city to start wanking again. I could show them it was registered, insured and running, and thumb my nose at them. My bride soundly vetoed that idea. She said it would be weenie, and she wants the truck gone.

The thing that worries me is all the work I put into it. My other vehicles, particularly my van, saw me working on that old truck. Vehicles get jealous quicker than a freshman with his first post-high school love. I just know my van is planning to drop a starter, alternator or something. No, it hasn't showed any symptoms, but anyone who has worked on cars knows what I mean. It's a bad idea to let your vehicle see you work on another.

This isn't the week for vehicle maintenance anyway. Thanksgiving is here and you know what that means - time to start a panicked flurry of activity on those semester projects that have been put off for the past 11 weeks. Besides two papers and a presentation I have coming due, I have to get the turkey done, some spiced apples canned and a couple of pies made. The good news is the mess will be an SEP - namely my parents'.

I'll probably start the turkey late Tuesday or very early Wednesday. Before you start thinking "dry as sawdust," I smoke my bird. (And for the comedians, yes, it takes a really big paper and it's hard to keep lit.) I've been hoping to find some apple wood, but I'll probably have to settle for hickory.

My brothers and sisters and I will descend on my parent's home like locusts, utterly shattering their peace and quiet. Everyone will bring some offering for the table, and we will indulge in the most self-indulgent of American pastimes - the Thanksgiving eatathon.

We will likely pause to go around the table, each of us saying what we are thankful for this year. Dad will be thankful that we're all there and safe, mom that she didn't have to do all the cooking. My wife will be thankful she's not the turkey (it's tradition.)

I'd like to think my niece and nephew will be thankful they have a new, stable home with us, but more likely their thanks will center on the large contributions we've made to the Harry Potter industry.

I'm thankful that this semester has gone better than last spring, and that I've somehow managed to keep my eclectic household solvent. I'm thankful that just as the task seemed impossible, a solution presented itself almost out of thin air. I'm even thankful I had the chance to suddenly become a parent again.

Most of all, I will be thankful if my van can control it's jealous rage until after the holiday.